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megpie71: 9th Doctor resting head against TARDIS with repeated *thunk* text (Default)
megpie71

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megpie71: Impossibility established early takes the sting out of the rest of the obstacles (Less obstacles)
Saturday, February 19th, 2022 08:45 am
(In response to: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/feb/16/belittling-the-canberra-convoy-protesters-will-just-push-ostracised-people-further-into-their-bunkers)

I read this article, and I thought "gee, it's nice Simon Copland is able to feel some sympathy for the various protesters out there." But I rather disagree with his premise that "We must seek to understand and address their feelings".

Mr Copland talks about these protesters having formed an "intimate public" group as part of the camp and the protest, and yeah, I can understand that. Heck, I've been part of "intimate public" groups myself - I've gone to science fiction and fantasy conventions, and I've camped out at the Canberra show-grounds myself as part of the National Folk Festival. So I can sympathise with the protesters feeling disappointed, even despairing, when the event breaks up, and they have to go home, resume their everyday life, and deal with being an ordinary part of society again, after a few days (or weeks) of being something extra-ordinary. It's a bit of a let-down, and it's not the most enjoyable situation to be in.

But I think while we're busy looking so hard at the humanity of these protesters, we need to also pay attention to the thing which has united them together. This isn't just a gathering of people who have got together to celebrate a relatively harmless hobby (like folk music, or enjoyment of a genre of entertainment). This is a group of people who got together in defence of an ideology of "liberation" which rests very solidly on the idea that their personal freedom to perform certain activities over-rides the right of anyone else in the country to enjoy a safe, healthy life.

The people in this convoy who "lost friends over [their] views" lost those friends, almost certainly, because of their ideological stance.

Their ideological stance, in a lot of cases, involves effectively telling a lot of other people that they are dispensable. That they are not as human as the holders of this particular stance, and therefore do not merit the same level of consideration. For example, as an autistic person, I'm not considered by many anti-vaccination thinkers to be as human as they are - my existence, to them, is something to be feared, to be dreaded, and something that should not be. To a lot of anti-vaxxers, I am a monster, and I belong dead.

Forgive me for disagreeing with them on that one.

For the sovereign citizens, and the other extreme glibertarians in the crowd, there is nobody on the planet who is as human as they are, and they are fighting hard for their right not to be bound by the dictates of wider society. Mind you, when you stop and talk to a lot of them, you find out what they're actually fighting for (once you strip out the rhetoric, and boil things down to their core notions) is that they should share in the benefits of society (things like infrastructure, services and so on) but not have to deal with any of the costs of society. There's a reason a lot of billionaires in the USA describe themselves as "libertarians", after all. To these people, as a person who has relied on social security to survive at times, and who is going to be looking for support from the NDIS in order to be able to live a slightly fuller (and healthier) life than I do at present, I am anathema. Again, I belong dead, because I am a "parasite" who needs a bit of help from other people in order to be able to contribute fully to society (like a lot of people with disabilities).

Again, I disagree with them as well.

The neo-Nazis in the crowd think I should be dead because I'm a person with a disability (and even more so because I'm a white woman who has reached the end of her reproductive life and not bred good little white children for the nation). Of course, I'm part of a very long list of people they think belong dead, starting with the indigenous owners of this continent, and moving on from there covering things like "people who aren't white enough", "people who aren't Christian", "people who aren't Australian enough", right the way along to "people who don't entirely agree with their every thought".

Do I need to say I disagree with their point of view? Or can we take this as read?

Now, I agree with Mr Copland that it's good these people found a sense of community in their convoy. Community is a human thing, a thing everyone who is human wants and needs to be part of. But let's not lose sight of the fact that these people, this community, want to deny a lot of other people the opportunity to be part of any community at all (much less theirs). There are the immunocompromised and people with "pre-existing conditions" (by which, apparently, the health authorities mean "anyone in less than 100% health, both physical and psychological") who currently aren't able to take part in community events, because it isn't safe for them to risk infection - and let's note this group skews strongly toward those who are on lower incomes, those who are in rural areas rather than urban areas, those who are indigenous, those who are disabled and so on. There are the elderly, who are both vulnerable to things like COVID due to issues of age-related physical and mental deterioration, and also vulnerable because their living systems mean they're unable to move away from sources of potential exposure. The same applies to persons with disability who are living in supported accommodation.

I'm sure a lot of us can talk about people who very literally haven't left their houses if they could possibly avoid it since the pandemic started spreading back in February 2020, simply because they don't want to risk their lives. I'm sure there's a lot of us who fall into that group ourselves.

According to these protesters, we deserve to die, so long as they can carry on acting as though the bad things in the world won't touch them. While the protesters are "expressing genuinely held feelings", as per Mr Copland, I'm sure Mr Copland can also understand that quite frankly, if these people want me to meet them half-way, then they have to start by acknowledging my genuinely held feeling that I am as human as they are, possessed of the same essential humanity, and stop upholding ideologies which say I'm expendable. I'm more than happy to form a community with any of the protesters. Whether they can say the same about me is on them. But I'm more than happy to meet them half-way. It's just the half-way point where I'm prepared to meet them is one where they recognise I don't deserve to die simply because of who I am. If they have a lot of travelling to do to get there, then that is on them, not on me.
megpie71: Slave computer, captioned "My most humble apologies, master" (computer troubles)
Monday, January 31st, 2022 12:22 pm
I'm having one of those days where I cannot manage self-care. I've managed to get up, get dressed, do my hair, and do a load of laundry, as well as drying up and putting away the dishes that were on the sink, but now I'm all out of spoons.

So among the tasks which need to be done, but which aren't being done because my brain is basically going "too hard" at present are: feeding myself; emptying out the dishwasher and drying and putting away the dishes in there; figuring out what I'm going to do with the rest of the day.

As an elaboration on the "feeding myself is too hard" thing - I have had three mugs of tea (currently drinking my fourth) and half a dozen dried apricots so far today. I have tried to figure out whether there is something I want to eat in the fridge, freezer or cupboards, multiple times, and come up blank every single one. Everything I think of is either "don't want that" or "too hard". I should note "too hard" includes things like cooking up two minute noodles (too many steps involved to get from none to done). So is toast with Vegemite. "Don't want that" covers most of the frozen things in the freezer.

This has happened before. I'll usually just fill up on tea or hot water, because those are easy and don't require me to think too much. But it means I'm not getting nutrition that I need to keep myself moving, which means I'm more likely to wind up in this situation again. Eventually I will wind up probably having either a foodsicle from the freezer (because they're easy) or getting my partner to fetch take-away, and that will be my one meal for the day.

[Update: my partner has decided he is going to be cooking meat pies, and is willing to cook one up for me. So I may well be fed today after all.]

I'm starting to realise why I need assistance from the NDIS, quite frankly.
megpie71: 9th Doctor resting head against TARDIS with repeated *thunk* text (Default)
Monday, January 10th, 2022 07:12 am
Long story short: I was given a T2 "advent calendar" tea sampler in a Secret Santa at work. These are my notes on the various teas it had in it. These are my opinions of the various teas, based on my personal sensorium and preferences. I've thrown in some opinions of other teas I had handy as well, which may help to give an idea of where my preferences lie.

Opinions below the fold )

Overall, I enjoyed working my way through these, and I've learned these sorts of samplers are a good gift for someone like myself, who gets stuck in a rut a lot of the time. I tend to be rather cautious about trying new things, because "what if I don't like it?" - one of the scars of lengthy periods on a very low income (and being low-spoons) is I don't want to risk spending money (and effort) on things I discover I don't like. As it was, I wound up with a couple of different teas every day for twelve days, and discovered eight types of tea I'd be willing to buy from T2 (for the record: Morning Sunshine; French Earl Grey; Lemongrass and Ginger; Green Rose; Gorgeous Geisha; Jade Mountain; New York Breakfast; and Go Go Goa). All in all a lovely present, and a big thank you to my Secret Santa, whoever they were.
megpie71: Avon standing in front of Zen's dome, caption "Confirmed" (confirmed)
Sunday, January 9th, 2022 07:33 am
It's been a long couple of years. I'm starting on my third year in my job, and I'm realising I need to be willing to take care of myself. As per the statement circulating on Tumblr, I need to schedule time for maintenance, or it will be scheduled for me (my body and brain are both being very clear on this). Between the autism and the RSI, I am starting to realise I can't just barrel forward through life throwing myself at things until I collapse - it isn't a sustainable strategy any more (not that it ever was in the first place).

So I'm being a lot more definite about my downtime - making sure it is actually down time, rather than spending the time being just as busy as I would be at work, only in other directions. I'm spending a bit of time and effort on treating myself - giving myself nice things, rather than living the rather Spartan lifestyle I've become accustomed to through being on unemployment benefits. This doesn't mean I'm heading straight for the consumerist life - not by any means (I mean, first I'd have to figure out a way to be able to cope with the sensory overload of heading in to the average shopping mall, which hasn't happened). But it does mean I'm doing things like buying a few flavours of tea I liked from the sampler pack I was given by my Secret Santa at work (must get around to putting up the reviews), and taking the time to have some nice tea at home rather than rushing through everything.

I've started writing regularly again - the plan is to do at least 100 words a day on one of two projects. I figure 100 words a day isn't too much to aim for, because even on a low brain day, I can manage to string a drabble's worth of words together - even if it's just outlining, plotting, scribbling down background notes or whatever. I'm happier when I'm writing regularly, so I may as well make time in my day to do this. Plus the 100 words add up over time, and get me closer to actually completing some of these projects I've started but then paused on.

I've re-started the "three things that went right" practice again, after another bout of the miseries (again, I need to schedule maintenance, or my brain will schedule it for me), and I may just sit down and write up a list of all the positive things in my life at present (not so much "counting my blessings" as just reminding my brain they exist).

At present, the aim is just getting these few things solidified - get used to actually using my down-time as down-time, rather than "searching for things to do so I don't stop moving" time; keep treating myself kindly wherever possible; keep up the daily writing practices; and keep up the "what went right" notifications. Maybe once these are settled habits, I'll look into things like actually finding a new GP (my current one isn't the greatest fit for me); finding a new psychologist (I need to do this, but I don't have the spoons at present); and getting a bit further with the NDIS paperwork to get myself support that way.

(Yes, I do need support in day-to-day living, despite outwardly having things sufficiently "together" to be able to handle working four days a week).
megpie71: 9th Doctor resting head against TARDIS with repeated *thunk* text (Default)
Sunday, January 2nd, 2022 07:06 am
Back to trying to build a posting habit here. I'm also working on trying to re-build a writing habit as well - adding at least 100 words a day to one of my many ongoing projects in the fanfiction space. I'm having to go easy on myself at present, giving myself small targets, because I don't want to re-strain my arms and give myself RSI again. Can't afford the time off from work, and I can't afford the interruptions to everything that it causes.

So today I added 166 words to one of my pieces (transforming notes into narrative). Let's see whether I can keep this up.

Other plans for the day include folding laundry, and maybe playing one of the games on the PS4. I'm currently actively avoiding playing Final Fantasy XIV, because while I have purchased a headset so I can participate in the raiding and dungeoneering content, I don't know whether it's going to work (turns out the headset is intended for a PS5, even though the shop had it advertised in the PS4 section of their website), and I don't know how to test it ahead of time. So, rather than stress myself out in twenty-seven different directions about that, I'm avoiding FFXIV and playing some of the other games I have on hand (yesterday I dug out World of Final Fantasy, and re-started that).
megpie71: Animated: "Are you going to come quietly/Or do I have to use earplugs?" (Come Quietly)
Sunday, December 26th, 2021 06:41 am
So, it's been about six months since I last put anything up here (I really need to get back into the habit of posting).

At present, I'm busy recovering from getting a COVID booster shot on Thursday evening. This one (Pfizer, first I've had of that type; the first two were Astra-Zeneca) is leaving me with a few side effects I hadn't been expecting. For starters, my left arm is still sore (which reminds me of the first dose of Astra-Zeneca, where I wound up feeling as though I'd had a tetanus booster; my arm ached for about a week), and this time it looks like there's a degree of immune system response involved in things (the area under my left arm, where all the lymph nodes live, is sore and achey). Plus I'm tired all the time, although this may just be a perfectly normal response to the combination of five days of having to be up and about and social while autistic, and a several-day heatwave, both of which would leave me tired even without the vaccine involvement.

I'm also having to deal with having be up and about and social (I'm the one person in my team who isn't taking time off over the Christmas break) for six days in a row - 4 days of work, plus Christmas day visit to the in-laws yesterday and a visit to my family today) which for me is a bit of a stretch and a push. I get two days to recover, but given I generally have 3 days off each week to recover from 4 days work, I suspect I'm going to be a little bit stretched-thin at work next week.

Ah well, I'm still alive so far. It's a start.
megpie71: Text: "My grip on reality's not too good at the best of times." (DrWho1)
Thursday, January 17th, 2019 03:08 pm

  • Diesel powered leaf blowers

  • Whipper snippers

  • Come to think of it, any kind of mechanised garden equipment at all.


This post brought to you by my autistic brain in near-meltdown mode, and the two different sets of neighbours who are gardening at present with mechanical assistance.

*grumble*