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megpie71: Denzel looking at Tifa with a sort of "Huh?" expression (Are you going to tell him?)
Friday, September 25th, 2009 11:26 pm
Sparked by this article:

Jack Hayford Backs Odd Theory: Sex With a Demon Drove Down Japanese Stock Market

If the Emperor of Japan has had sexual intercourse with the Japanese sun goddess, there's an even bigger worry to consider: he's been involved in an incestuous act with one of his ancestors (the royal house of Japan is said to be descended directly from the sun goddess Amaterasu) and may well have been sexually assaulted by this divine-level being. The matter needs to be investigated, and appropriate criminal charges laid (not just the goddess in question).

There are numerous cases of divinities sexually assaulting their followers and/or descendants; one of the more famous ones occurred circa BC 6 in the vicinity of Nazareth, when Mary (betrothed of Yusuf the carpenter) was assaulted by Yhwh (the local barbarian deity) and was later made aware of this assault by angelic visitation. She subsequently bore a child of this assault who followed the typical life path for such children - forced relocation from their homeland, a nomadic or disconnected childhood, and lack of acknowledgement by their maternal or paternal relatives, and a certain amount of searching for a stable identity, followed by a period of recognising their divine origins, reclaiming whichever kingdom they happen to be heir to, and eventual assassination. Subsequently, cultists affirmed this child had risen from the dead (which is a standard demi-deistic ability).

It appears this particular case was an exceptional one, leading to action being taken at the divine level, since subsequent claims of divine sexual assault appear to be the maunderings of hysterical females. However, it appears this practice was once widespread (as per the stories of Heracles, Perseus, Helen, Clytemnestra, Castor, Pollux, Theseus, the royal houses of both Northern and Southern Egypt, the royal house of Assyria, Romulus, Remus, the royal house of Japan etc) and this raises concern. Given this tale of resurgent divine interference in the affairs (both sexual and metaphorical) of humans, it could be we are due for another round of demi-deities being born into a world which is no longer set up to accommodate their demi-divine abilities.

Should there be a rash of people resurrecting themselves, the consequences for the funerary industries alone are startling. However one of the regular demi-divine abilities, which is freely attributed to any number of demi-divine beings (for example, Asclepius) is the ability to heal through the use of demi-divine power. This leads to some serious implications for the health care provision industries, and a clear and present threat to the American way of life should a demi-god or demi-goddess walk amongst the American population. If such a being is able to heal simply by laying on hands, should they be permitted to do so when their ability threatens the livelihoods of doctors, nursing professionals, medical researchers, medical administrators and insurance company executives? As they generally refuse payment for such services (this is a documented phenomenon in most cases of healing by divine beings) their existence could very well drive down the profit margins in the medical sector, leading to increased co-payments being required by insurance companies. Indeed, the existence of a single demi-deity could be a greater threat to the American Medical System as it stands now than any public health provision being argued through Congress.

In addition, demigods in particular tend to have extremely powerful warlike abilities. One of the more regular ones is enhanced strength, another is enhanced skill in battle (and therefore presumably in sporting activities). The more active demigoddesses also demonstrate these traits. As yet, there are no standardised means of testing humans for demigodly abilities (although there are rumours they have a persistent halo or aura, visible in darkness) which opens the door to the possibility of pantheistic countries such as China deliberately breeding their deities with humans in order to improve their standing in international sport. Has Caster Semenya (a demigodly name if ever I heard one) had her parentage checked for possible divine antecedents?

Clearly we must be on the alert for further symptoms of divine and demi-divine interference in our way of life.

I shouldn't have to say this, but just in case some of my readers aren't aware, the above is sarcasm and satire. Reading the sparking article - particularly the bits about "prayer walking" - had me wondering whether all of the implications of the divine sexual encounter on the part of the Japanese emperor had been appropriately considered. As well as whether or not the people who are Prayer Walking are also claiming credit for the reduction in attacks by man-eating badgers on the populations of the places they're "protecting"...