The Dreamwidth Account

So, it's been about six months since I last put anything up here (I really need to get back into the habit of posting).

At present, I'm busy recovering from getting a COVID booster shot on Thursday evening. This one (Pfizer, first I've had of that type; the first two were Astra-Zeneca) is leaving me with a few side effects I hadn't been expecting. For starters, my left arm is still sore (which reminds me of the first dose of Astra-Zeneca, where I wound up feeling as though I'd had a tetanus booster; my arm ached for about a week), and this time it looks like there's a degree of immune system response involved in things (the area under my left arm, where all the lymph nodes live, is sore and achey). Plus I'm tired all the time, although this may just be a perfectly normal response to the combination of five days of having to be up and about and social while autistic, and a several-day heatwave, both of which would leave me tired even without the vaccine involvement.

I'm also having to deal with having be up and about and social (I'm the one person in my team who isn't taking time off over the Christmas break) for six days in a row - 4 days of work, plus Christmas day visit to the in-laws yesterday and a visit to my family today) which for me is a bit of a stretch and a push. I get two days to recover, but given I generally have 3 days off each week to recover from 4 days work, I suspect I'm going to be a little bit stretched-thin at work next week.

Ah well, I'm still alive so far. It's a start.

Had my second dose of Astra-Zeneca on Wednesday. The first dose was back in April (about two or three hours before the Australian government decided that only people over 50 should get it - given the injection date was two days after my 50th birthday, I figured I was safe). So, I just have to wait another week and a bit, and I will be all vaccinated and done, and ready to go out and interact with people without fear of COVID. Given I'm in Western Australia, this is not the huge thing it is in other parts of the world (or even other parts of the country).

Now all I have to do is figure out whether there's anything I'd actually want to do which involves interacting with people in the first place.

Now, I'm going to be the first person to say working at home is not the same thing as being stuck on the dole. For one thing, working from home definitely pays better, trust me on this (even with the supplements, working from home still pays much better than being on the dole), and this opens up a lot of options which weren't available for me when I was on Newstart. But there are a lot of similarities between being locked down to the one place by a COVID-19 lock down, and being locked down to one place by the sheer fact I can't afford to go anywhere or buy anything. So here's some of the tips I'm finding I'm recycling now I'm back in my bedroom a lot.


1) You have to have a routine

This is even more the case for when you don't have the distraction of a job than if you do - you need to have a routine, and a number of things that need doing, and you need to be able to deal with those things during the course of a day in order to give yourself a sense of having achieved things. This is where "to do" and "have done" lists come into their own - they're great for creating that sense of achievement, which is something a lot of us need in order to maintain our mental health.

2) You can't just stay in one place all day

Whether it's on the couch in front of the TV, in front of the computer, curled up with a good book, or whatever - you need to get up, you need to move around, you need to do something that isn't just sitting in the one place. So take breaks, by which I mean things like "set an alarm to get yourself up off your backside and walk around the house", or "get up and walk to the end of the street and back again" or something like that.

(My plan for the next few weeks is I'm gradually emptying out various planters, moving them to the front garden - near my desk space - and I'm going to plant them all up with flowers, bulbs and herbs so I have something to fuss over and look at while I'm locked down...)

If all else fails, keep yourself decently hydrated - if you're drinking lots of water, eventually plain old bladder pressure is going to make you need to get up and move. At least fifty percent of my tea habit came about as a way of making sure I was getting up and moving away from the computer during the day (even if it was just to the toilet and back again).

3) Contact with other people is important

I say this as an introvert's introvert who has low social needs to begin with - humans need contact with other people in order to remind ourselves we're human. The good thing about this is it doesn't have to necessarily be in person - I find online chat works nicely for me (and once I've weeded my Twitter feed, I'm going to settle down and enjoy that rather thoroughly). But you need to be interacting with other human beings in some way, shape or form. Remember, we're descended from social apes (like chimpanzees) rather than solitary ones (like orang-utans).

4) Dress up and take pride in your appearance

No, really. This one helps a lot - maintaining a bit of pride in your appearance, wearing good quality clothes (yes, dress for comfort, but that doesn't have to mean ratty old trackie-daks, grotty t-shirts, or pyjamas all day), doing your hair, putting on makeup if you wear it regularly and so on. It goes in with "you have to have a routine" - having part of that routine involve making sure you look presentable (however you define the term) really does help with making you feel less isolated and more capable of connecting with people.

5) Make sure your surroundings are comfortable and comforting

If you're sitting in your bedroom a lot, make the bed. If you're in the kitchen, wash up the dishes and put them away. If you're in the lounge room, do a bit of a tidy. Tidy your desk or desk-like-area so you're able to work there. Make sure it's possible to stay reasonably warm (in winter) and reasonably cool (in summer) without needing to take heroic measures (like bundling up as though you're going to the Antarctic, or stripping to the skin). If you can't feel comfortable in your space, you're going to resent having to remain there, and you're likely to wind up feeling put-upon and hard-done-by. Neither of which feelings are particularly conducive to productivity or getting through things easily. This is something we don't really have much choice in, so we may as well treat ourselves kindly while it's happening.

6) Don't forget to eat and drink

Again, this goes with "you need to move". Try not to eat your meals in front of the computer - for one thing, it's not good for you; for another, it's not that good for the computer, either. Make your lunch into a meal away from your desk or desk-like-area - eat it outside if the weather's fine, but at least pick up and move away from your computer chair in order to eat lunch. Make your lunch a bit of an event - pick a favourite food or a comfort food, or just fancy things up a bit. Now is probably not the best time to start a new diet... but it is a pretty good time to try a few things you haven't tried before.

7) Get out and see some nature each day.

Go for a walk in the street; if you have a garden, take a walk around that. Encourage the local wildlife to hang around - a good birdbath can be made from a ceramic plant saucer (about 2cm deep, and about the same in width on the side, so they have somewhere to put their feet), and there are lots of birds which will take advantage of it to splash around and fuss at each other, and a lot of enjoyment can be gained from bird watching (this probably isn't a good idea if you have cats - not unless you can put the birdbath somewhere the cats can't get at it). Pets are great - even pets you borrow from the neighbours (our neighbour's cat considers us to be part of its regular staff, and will show up on a regular basis for pets and scritches, as well as considering our backyard as part of its tiger territory). Failing that, house-plants, pot plants on a balcony, and so on - anything will do, no matter how big or small. Combine it with your walk - have a look at the gardens of your neighbours (and if you really like what someone's doing with their garden, why not leave them a note to say so - combine socialising-at-a-distance with getting your daily dose of nature).

8) Remember, this too shall pass.

This period of lock down and quarantine will eventually come to an end (either they'll figure out that vaccine they're working on; or we'll develop a certain level of herd immunity; or the virus will just burn itself out; or we'll all decide there are different options in the eternal toss-up between safety and convenience). We won't be stuck as isolated, atomised individuals forever. In the wider scheme of things, human cultures of all kinds have survived multiple examples of pandemics and plagues (Western culture has survived a lot of them, but the one which sticks with me at the moment is the Black Plague of the 1400s - people back then thought the world was ending, too) - the situation we're in at present isn't actually an unprecedented one; it's just one we're unaccustomed to. The last time humans had to really worry about this sort of thing was back in the 1940s, and for those of us who post-date polio, it's not something we've had to deal with in our lifetime. But that doesn't mean we can't survive it. Remember, we're all descendants of the people who survived epidemics before us. We can get through this.

(I'm going to be trying to make this a regular Thing. Wish me luck with it. Basically, it's going to be a summary of what I'm reading, in which formats, for which purposes, and so on. Some brief comments about each thing, but not a huge discussion unless it's really something which has set my head on fire.

Two important things to note about my reading habits: 1) I tend to read a lot; 2) I tend to re-read things a lot. This is the intersection of a strong hobby interest in reading, and a low income).

Farewell Re-reads:

(A quick explanation: the "farewell-re-read" shelf on my bookshelves is the one where I put all the books I'm not sure whether I want to keep or discard, so I give them a final re-read and decide from there. Anything on the farewell re-read shelf is an actual print book).

The Weather Makers, Tim Flannery (2005). Tim Flannery on climate change, and why it matters, and why we have to take action on it urgently. Note the publication date.

Fanfic

Different Similarities by Aurya - Dissidia NT fic, involving a discussion between Lightning and Noctis about how oddly similar their worlds and stories are.

Endlessly by aryasnark - A collection of short pieces starring Squall Leonhart and Cloud Strife (therefore ranging in fandom from Kingdom Hearts, through FFVII, FFVIII, and Dissidia). A work in progress. One I keep coming back to and re-reading, as well as enjoying the new additions.

Exodus by MoiDuh - Dissidia 12 fic, where Cloud disappears from Gaia in the aftermath of Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children. A work in progress.

Fluffy Humorous How they Get Together Just Read It Okay? There will be SMUT by mdaoust245 - FFVII Sephiroth/Cloud fic. Work in progress. Cloud is bullied into asking Sephiroth out for a date.

Good Friends and Good Company by Megane - Dissidia fic. Cloud and Tidus chilling in Besaid.

once more by brewpubs - Kingdom Hearts. An interesting take on the tie between Sephiroth and Cloud in KH canon.

Pretty Kitty by wickedorin - FFVII Zack/Sephiroth pet play. Smutfic.

Sunflowers by XpaperplaneX - FFVII pre-canon fix-it. Work in progress (completed, but being posted gradually). A young Sephiroth is sent to a certain mountain village for a summer as a consequence of disobeying orders. I'm a sucker for a good "Sephiroth gets a different childhood" fix-it, so I'd definitely recommend this one to other people who are fans of the same thing.

The Forest of Winters Past by dentedsky - Dissidia NT AU - Zack Fair lands up in the world of Dissidia NT. Part of the Fictober 2018 collection on AO3.

3, 2, 5? by Tellie_Skye - FFVII High school AU. Work in progress. Writer will probably be good when they get a bit more practice under their belt. As it stands, this reads as though English isn't their first language.

A Little Bird Told Me by chibikaie - Kingdom Hearts, possibly a college AU. Work in progress. Interesting enough that I've subscribed to it to keep up with updates.

A prince just wants good ol’ lovin’ by SunFallDown - FFVII, fairy tale AU. Zack/Cloud. This one is a variation on Cinderella, or at least, it has elements thereof.

All That I’ve got by Vincent_Valentine - FFVII/Kingdom Hearts High School AU. Work in progress. Zack/Cloud. Not particularly enthralling, I'm afraid.

Final Fantasy: Cross Dimensions by SIR_QUACK_AloT - FFVII/FFVIII crossover, Squall falls into the world of FFVII post-OG canon. Work in progress. I got thrown out of this one hard by the author referring to the antagonist of FFVIII as "Ultimania" (she's Ultimecia) and didn't bother to read past that.

From our Family to Yours by Madame_Xela - Kingdom Hearts AU, Squall/Cloud, domestic fluff. Work in progress. Seasonal snapshots of a family where Leon and Cloud have kids and are married to each other.

Love Twice by 0roro_Munr0e - FFVII: Crisis Core mundane world AU. Working toward the OT5 (SOLDIER fivesome). Work in progress. I was catching up on chapters 14 - 16. Interesting story, but the author occasionally has frustrating errors in tense and word choice.

Polarity by Tobiroth - FFVII Crisis Core A/B/O Dynamics AU. Work in progress. Tobiroth is a good author who I like to re-read, but they have a problem with starting stories and not finishing them. There are a LOT Of WIPs in their profile on AO3. I'd still strongly recommend what they write, but be aware of this...

Kinda Toast by joudama - FFXV, Gladio/Prompto fluff. Work in progress. Look, I'm always going to recommend anything by joudama in any of the fandoms we share (and probably I'd recommend her in the ones we don't as well), but this one is gorgeous just for the sheer quality of the way she's captured Prompto's voice.

A Christmas Cracker by Ardwynna - FFVII, part of the 2018 Gaia Santa collection on AO3. My main comment on this one is that if you don't like puns, turn away now, because some bits of this are Punful.

No Complaints by Asreoninfusion FFVII/Venom fusion. Smutfic. Part of the 2018 Gaia Santa collection on AO3. Asreoninfusion is going to be one of those authors I'm going to recommend and re-read repeatedly, because her FF7 smutfic is very good indeed. This is no exception.

Time Forever Favours the Young by Gotham’s_Only_Wolf - FFVII, post-canon, part of the 2018 Gaia Santa collection on AO3. Gotham's_Only_Wolf is another author I'll always recommend. This one is a good post-canon fix-it in many ways.

Mistaken Mistlefoe by Gotham’s_Only_Wolf - FFVII. Part of the 2018 Gaia Santa collection on AO3. One where the idea of inter-cultural communication has presumably never been considered by the management of the Shinra Electric Power Company or the leadership of its army.

This End Up by raisedbymoogles - Transformers/Kingdom Hearts crossover fic. Look, it has Galvatron, moogles and Mognet in it, and it made me laugh out loud.

Gift of the Bots by scifigrl47 - MCU, part of scifigrl47''s "Tales of the Bots" series. DJ needs to earn money to cover the cost of Christmas presents.

A Kind of Magic by XpaperplaneX - FFVII, part of XpaperplaneX's Tentacle 'Verse series. Cloud/Sephiroth. Nice to see the old fandom standbys making a reappearance, and this is one which hasn't been about for a few years now. XpaperplaneX is a good writer, another of the ones I'll always recommend to others.

So, does anyone else have anything they'd like to recommend, or share?

... I'm just up to my ears in my final piece of assessment for this semester. Which is a 2000 word research project, and I've been busy doing all the reading in order to be able to write a passable literature review, as well as catching up on about two months worth of housework (the last time I seriously cleaned the house was back when we had our inspection in September - I am now getting caught up on long-overdue floor sweeping and mopping and bench cleaning and such. This happens every semester - I get so distracted by getting head-down bum-up in study and classes that I don't have the spare spoons for housework).

Anyway:

1) Yay to the voters in the USA for steering us away from the worst timeline.

2) Boo to the Liberal party for Scott Morrison and the amazing mystery parliamentary revival tour bus. But a small yay for managing to produce an interview which inadvertently sounds like it was written by the late John Clarke.

(https://twitter.com/overingtonc/status/1060281934348079104)

1) Today has been a very pleasant sunny interlude in the middle of two rather damp and soggy weeks. I've even managed to get the last of the laundry from last week dried. Which is good, because I'm going to need the rack again tomorrow, when it's due to rain again (100% chance of showers, according to the Bureau).

2) I was also able to use today's warmer, drier weather as an excuse to air out the house, which had been starting to get just a tad musty as a result of about three months straight of having all the doors and windows as shut as they can manage to try and keep the weather outside.

3) Still keeping up with my readings and such for university. This week's endeavour is going to be writing a 1000 word essay comparing two articles in terms of critique and evaluation for one of my units (due Friday midnight). The trick there, I think, will be writing down everything I can come up with, and then editing this down to 1000 words. Basically, it's four paragraphs. If that (surely they could have given us a bit more word count?).

4) I realise I am definitely betraying my mature-age-student-ness in the above point. I am also not ashamed.

5) I don't have anything to fit here.

( Post below the fold )

How's things for everyone else?

*Sits up, cracks back*

I have finished all my assessment pieces for university, I don't have any exams (advice to potential students: it's very hard to examine Cultural Studies in a way which can prove you've taken the concepts on board; enjoy the lack of exams, but be prepared for lots of essay work) and I currently have a corner of my brain turning back somersaults in at the door and screaming "I'm FreEEEEEEEE!!!" at me. Semester officially ends on 22 June, which is the earliest possible date I'm going to be stripping all the work off my university laptop, Elfadunk.

Elfadunk desperately needs the latest Windows updates from about April last year (that being when I started getting the messages about "can you find 8GB of spare space on this machine so we can download things pleasethankyou"). Elfadunk has a 32GB hard drive, which is currently just about full to capacity with the combination of Windows 10 (most of the hard drive), the MS Office Suite (free download on the university account), EndNote (ditto), Avast antivirus and its various component pieces, Chrome browser, and all the other various accoutrements of university study, the least part of which is my actual data that I've put there and the various PDFs of readings and articles I've downloaded to work from. So all of those have to get stripped off; then I get to start carefully playing computational Jenga with Windows 10 in order to clear 6 - 8 GB of space in which to download and install the latest updates. Once that's done I get to find whether any of the other stuff will fit back on there again, or whether I'm going to be putting all my data and software onto a prosthetic thumb drive over the next few semesters. (In which case it's another visit to Officeworks in the offing to buy another 32GB thumb drive for all of that - I have one already, but it's acting as the storage vault for all my music so I can listen to music while taking notes on various things at uni).

So there's that needs doing, as well as all the housework I've been neglecting for the last three months (we have an inspection due in either June or July, I'm not quite sure which). Plus I've been documenting the various gaps in my knowledge I'm discovering as I read through various articles, textbooks and so on, so I can use my Copious Free Time to fill those. I now have Copious Free Time, so I'm going to try and keep up the whole business of at least two hours a day of actual study time by using that time to fill in various gaps. This includes reading up on the words of various cultural theorists, because I'm a masochist, and I feel the need to know these things myself rather than reading someone else's interpretation of what they said.

Fun little anecdote from writing the last essay for Cultural Studies: I was analysing two texts - "The Handmaid's Tale" by Margaret Atwood, and "The God of Small Things" by Arundhati Roy. In the course of three essays about "The God of Small Things", I saw the novel described as a Gothic horror story, a treatise on the existing problems in post-colonial theorising, and a Marxist-influenced caution against the horrors of commodity fetishism in a capitalist system. The idea of "the death of the author" is alive and well, and working in a variety of literary and cultural studies journals, where it's being used as an excuse for making any book ride your particular theoretical hobby-horse. (The whole thing made me laugh, because what I wound up thinking was "I wonder how Arundhati Roy feels about this?").

Also, does anyone know whether there's been any analysis of "The Handmaid's Tale" from the perspective of kink theory? I'd be interested in reading it if there were.

Okay, state of the Meg. (under the cut, because there's a lot of teal deer in there).

( See below )

So anyway, I aten't dead, I'm finally finished (pretty much) with uni for the year, and if anyone in the Perth metro area wants to visit (or have me visit them), drop me a line and let me know!

So I've realised I'm in the middle of a rather nasty anhedonic episode, which means I'm not particularly feeling any motivation to do anything, which means I'm not doing things unless I absolutely have to at present, because they're things I've built so solidly into my daily routines that I feel worse if I don't do them than if I do.

( Teal deer below the fold )

So yeah. Things aren't as good as they could be. But they're better than they would have been twenty years ago, so I suppose that's something...

Now, if you'll all excuse me, I'll go back to neg-stimming on Tumblr, because apparently this is my brain's preferred form of self-immolation this week.


[1] I have a two hour exclusion period on my medication for my thyroid, which means for two hours after I've taken it (and for two hours before, technically) I'm not allowed to have dairy products, calcium supplements, iron supplements or anything else which might bind to the thyroxine receptors.
[2] The end of this period is the end of the medication exclusion period, when I can technically fit in breakfast if I'm able to contemplate the idea of food.