I meant to reply to this earlier, but ... life ... or something.
I completely agree with you. I remember the closest to a triggery moment I had over the Readercon discussion was someone in Scalzi's comments saying something about how it wasn't really bad creepiness. And I was like, no, this is an example of the worst kind of creepiness, the kind no-one else recognises, the kind that everyone else thinks he's a great guy, the kind you know he's been doing for years and is well-practiced at.
Other people's "bad creepiness" is the kind that gets that person chucked out of the social circle in question quite quickly. The fact that everyone else agrees with you that it was creepy helps you get over it quicker. It's the slow-burn stuff that no-one else believes that is really damaging in my opinion.
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I completely agree with you. I remember the closest to a triggery moment I had over the Readercon discussion was someone in Scalzi's comments saying something about how it wasn't really bad creepiness. And I was like, no, this is an example of the worst kind of creepiness, the kind no-one else recognises, the kind that everyone else thinks he's a great guy, the kind you know he's been doing for years and is well-practiced at.
Other people's "bad creepiness" is the kind that gets that person chucked out of the social circle in question quite quickly. The fact that everyone else agrees with you that it was creepy helps you get over it quicker. It's the slow-burn stuff that no-one else believes that is really damaging in my opinion.