You have some good points here, and yeah, the paternalism of the thing is something I am worried about.

I think I was originally writing this in response to the sort of sexual plurality (ie gay rights, trans rights, polyamory/sexuality rights etc) activism which insisted the "A" in LGBTIAP+ stood for "ally" rather than "asexual".

There's some other stuff I'm sort of turning over in my head with this one - it'll probably take a couple of days to finish nutting my way through it, so I'll get back to you when I've figured it out. Thanks for the comments - this is exactly the sort of thing I was looking for when I posted it, because I really do want to try and get this sort of thing right.